“Turn in to see how the world turns out”
When I read the above line as part of the description of SMILE in-turn-ship, I was intrigued to know more about it. My friend who initially shared the idea of the program pushed me to inquire and go for this opportunity. The thought of pursuing the opportunity stayed for some time in my head but eventually, I forgot completely due to the academic load in my second year of bachelor's at the University of Delhi. While I did nothing to inquire about SMILE, I never stopped recommending the program to others who needed an internship. I remember one such instance when I was sitting with a bunch of classmates from college and they asked me if I knew any organization they could volunteer for during the semester break in December 2014. While I shared a list of places, I couldn't stop myself from suggesting SMILE in-turn-ship by Pravah even though I had very little idea of the program. However, there was something that told me that this opportunity should not be missed. Luckily, one of my friends was interested in pursuing the idea further and asked me to accompany her to the office where she could enroll herself for it.
With no intention of going for the internship, I agreed to accompany her and we went to the Pravah office located in Kalkaji, E Block, New Delhi (Old office). We were asked to fill up a form and then an interview would happen to see whether we were eligible or not (that's what I thought back then). I filled up the form without thinking much since I had some time to pass. However, filling out the form was quite challenging for me as it had many questions that made me think so, I either left or wrote incomplete answers in most of the blanks. I thought to myself what is the point of writing detailed answers since I am not going? I had a plan in mind and I was following it religiously. After the form filling, there was another process called the second -interaction with a person from Pravah. I didn’t know what was happening so I thought of just doing what they were asking. The interaction went on for some time and I didn't realize it back then, but it was one of the most difficult yet pleasant conversations I had until then. I was asked about my fears and interests, and why I left so many blanks in the form. Any answer I gave became the next question. There were too many why’s? in the conversation. While it was demanding, I was left with several questions in my head. One of which was about myself. Do I know who am I? It was disturbing but there was something that had happened within me that made me want to know more.
Long story short, my friend who I accompanied couldn't go for the internship but I, who had no intentions, couldn't miss the opportunity of a lifetime. I enrolled myself and told my family about it - my sister (the bestest one in the universe) kept motivating me to go for it. I couldn’t share this but it was her faith that kept me going. My parents on the other hand reacted very differently. My father straightaway said ‘no’ and my mother was scared of what would I do there since the internship involved staying in a village for a month. She was also concerned about my reserved nature which makes it difficult to gel with other people. While I shared all the details of the internship with my father and convinced my mother to take care of myself- it was my sister fighting for me to go. I am still not sure what I would do without her (Jayaii, you are a superstar! ♥️)
I eventually took the leap of faith and went ahead.
The Orientation camp
The internship started with a 4-day orientation camp (OC) at GVNML (Gram Vikas Navyuvak Mandal Laporiya) an organization working in the Laporiya district, Rajasthan. I was part of a group of 14 people who came for the same experience. The orientation consisted of introductory sessions to help young people (like me) understand rural spaces better by knowing about villages, and communities through exposure to the rural landscapes, etc. We also had games that made the entire experience more richer and enjoyable. After all, fun is a serious business at Pravah and they take it very seriously!
I remember how I was too scared to share or even speak to others in the beginning but within 24 hours, I had made friends who were very much like me. I had always struggled with the concept of ‘’sharing’’ as I felt why to burden others with my issues. However, I did share in those 4 days (or at least it was a starting point for me).
The space encouraged me to speak & share and it started a circle of learning.
The days at the orientation camp went so quickly that we barely had a chance to even take a selfie. While we may have missed the selfie, we learned important lessons for a lifetime. My favorite one was to get out of my comfort zone.
While I had lived an experience in the camp, it was time to say goodbye to everyone and leave for our journeys ahead. It was time to test what we had learned in the OC and apply it in the actual classroom- Life!
On our way to the railway station, we came across Sarson ke khet and we couldn't stop ourselves for some photos.
From Jaipur bus stand, we all had to leave for our organizations where we were all placed. I had to reach Hum Kisan Sangathan (HKS), in Jhiri village, Jhalawad, in Southern Rajasthan. Petrified to take the 14-hour bus journey alone, I gathered strength and somehow managed to take the right bus to my destination. The next morning I reached Jhalawad and took another bus for Jhiri after informing my mentor from HKS about my travel. I still had 2–3 hours to reach the village.
The In-turn-ship (Pravah’s take on Internship)
When I reached the Jhiri bus stand, I was about to call my mentor Devendra sir but a person from the organization was already waiting for me, Durga Ji even though I didn’t tell anyone that the bus had reached the destination. It made me very happy and positive about the place. When I met Devendra sir, he asked me about my journey, any problems I faced, about the OC, etc. I had a really good feeling once I reached the organization. While all of this was happening, a bunch of kids came running towards me enthusiastically to say hello, I felt extremely peaceful then.
I gradually understood more about the village and the work of the organization. My conversations with people and children gave me more insights into the issues prevalent in the village. After speaking with my mentor, I took up the following projects :
1. Documentation of the handloom process (set up initiated by the village)
2. Teaching at Manthan (local village school)
Handloom documentation in Jhiri
The village had initiated a handloom set up which was a primary source of revenue for many people. It worked as part of the Adarsh Hathkargha Cooperative Society (AHCS) and it had a brand called Aha Vastra! My task was to put together all the details of the handloom cooperative society on paper. I, along with the two other SMILERs, collected all the details, & compiled the documents which helped the organization to document the work done on the ground. The three of us also translated all the documentation work into Hindi as well so that the local people could read the work too.
Education at Manthan
I contributed to the school by teaching English and History for grades 6th & 7th. I also helped with their homework and often conducted experiments in the classroom as well.
Some photos from my first day at school can be seen here below:
The school was not merely a place for mugging things but it was open for learning through experiments and games.
While there was so much to learn from the village, the most interesting part of the stay was to interact with children who were ever ready to share their knowledge.
A month in Jhiri - my highlight of the stay was spending an entire day with 5 boys who showed me Jhiri & the neighboring villages. One of the boys felt homesick and wanted to visit his mother who stayed in the next village. They asked me if you would like to accompany them. I said yes. While climbing the hill, I wasn't able to find any way to step further & I told the boys ‘There is no path here’. Seeing me lost, one of the boys shared, ‘Are didi, jahan jaoge, rasta wahi mil jaega’. I walked ahead and showed that there multiple roads that we could take. I still think about what he said so innocently with such a deep & valuable meaning to it.
All the children knew about my fear of animals so, they pushed me to confront my fear. They asked me to go near the goat once. I hesitated and thought of running away from the site. After all the nudge, I decided to do it for a second. I and the goat were equally scared of each other. I touched it and lifted it. It all happened within seconds. She was nice to me. While the fear may still be there, I am much more open to trying and being around animals than I was back then.
Some memories with my fellow smilers...
My last day in Jhiri was nothing less than a celebration. I was given a grand farewell at the top of the hill where everyone at the organization went out for a picnic. We prepared our lunch, carried our water, and did a small trek to the pahadi.
Challenges
While the internship was a great learning experience, it had its challenges. Being an extremely reserved person, one of the biggest challenges was to overcome my hesitation & get along with people. I was often frustrated because of my inability to express my feelings and share what was happening within me. The second was to go through a long bus journey alone as it was my first such experience and travelling at night was an added difficulty. Differences in food, lifestyle, managing with limited resources, overcoming the language barrier, and teaching the students in Jhiri, etc were some more.
Highlights of the experience
I got a huge opportunity to talk to people from different backgrounds which increased my involvement with people and gave me memories to cherish. I understood the importance of basic resources like water, and electricity and used them judiciously during my stay. Even after coming back, I would often think of the time and try not to use more than what I needed. I also started to understand how our lives in urban cities are so connected to rural spaces and it's all linked. Lastly, my patience level increased while dealing with the kids. (:P)
Takeaways from the experience:
It helped me to discover myself and my hidden talents. I learned that saying ‘I can’t do this’ won’t solve a problem but believing that ‘I can do it’ can solve half of the problem. We were accepted the way we were and were not forced to change ourselves. There was a human connection throughout the internship. All the sessions were very interesting and I learned a lot about myself. The biggest learning & the most unique part was that we became comfortable with the most uncomfortable things which enhanced my ability to adapt to different circumstances. I had an experience that helped me overcome my inhibitions & was a journey towards getting better versions of myself.
Reflections from 2020
It’s been 6 years from the time of SMILE and it’s difficult to express how the journey has impacted me. Coming back from the in-turn-ship, I made sure to be part of numerous experiences (art, theatre, travel, facilitation, etc) where I could push myself and learn more. It has been a beautiful experience of ups and downs, happy times, and challenges, but mostly of celebrating those countless mini-milestones in my little world called the 5th space. Some of the experiences can be found here.
It gives me immense joy to have gone through the journey that has taught me that the journey never really ends and how important it is to contribute forward what you have learned. I have always been told that I have become a chatterbox and can express myself beautifully. In terms of my education, I have done my master’s in heritage management and my area of work is focused on handicrafts and handlooms. I still remember my time in Jhiri and how it was an enriching exposure to a village that has set up its handloom and worked on sustainability, education, and innovation differently. It’s so amazing how that one experience has not only helped me personally but also added more value to my professional life. I am filled with a feeling of gratitude for the space, the facilitators & mentors, my SMILE batch, and the numerous people I met along the path. A simple thank you may not be enough to express my feelings, but I will still say ‘thank Pravah for being a part of my life’.
Pravah is an organization based in New Delhi, India that works with young people to impact social justice issues through youth citizenship action.
SMILE (Student’s Mobilization Initiative for Learning through Exposure) is an 8-month-long learning and leadership journey where a group of fellows will work on individual social action projects to address Sustainable Development Goals. SMILE Fellowship aims to create self and social impact by enabling youth to take up leadership roles in co-created 5th spaces.
Such an insightful writeup. It is really inspiring and shows how step by step one can overcome fears and follow their heart. I can really see the fear on your face while holding the goat ...lol :D
But your experience does remind us how sometimes that one unplanned decision can do wonders, so its ok to go with the flow sometimes. We also get a beautiful life lesson here(coming from a young kid) that we all must remember and follow - "Are didi, jahan jaoge, rasta wahi mil jaega’".
This will stay with me forever. All the best Jyoti. So proud of you.
Thanks Jyoti for sharing this journey in such an authentic matters. Loved the rephrasing of Internship as "In-turn-ship". Also, a reminder to myself as well on what you wrote- "believing that ‘I can do it’ can solve half of the problem". Please keep sharing more of your journey. More power to you!